Bye, Bye to Insecurities . . Let's Build Confidence

 

Oh, hey girl! Ever thought to yourself, gosh I wish I was skinnier, I wish I had better skin, I wish I had thicker hair (and on and on and on)?  Yep, me too.  It’s our human nature!  And boy does it take lots of hard work and constant daily self-talk to keep those negative thoughts (and sometimes spoken words) out of our heads!

For about a year, I've been hiding something from you all. 

My fears and insecurities have kept me from teaching you all about my Confidence Boutique. My fears and insecurities have kept me crippled from sharing my fears and insecurities that would potentially help you feel understood and not alone. 

 But why do we do it?  Why do we allow ourselves to feel trapped in self-consciousness or low self-esteem? It’s time we work together to change that!! Having strong true confidence in oneself is what I strive for in myself and it’s what I want to help other women find too! I want us all to know that we are beautiful in our own ways. I believe beauty is on the inside and not as society has claimed and taught us, only on the outside.

 

 You may be asking yourself, why do I have a clothing boutique if beauty is on the inside? Valid question, and simply put, I believe that what goes on the outside of our bodies should make us feel confident and good about ourselves so that we can arm ourselves with the feeling of comfort and love.  It’s all about self-love! I like to wear clothing that makes me feel good about myself. I don’t have to wear everything everyone else is wearing. When I find that top, or pair of leggings that just make me feel good and comfortable I want that feeling to stick around! It’s what sets my day up for success! Feeling amazing makes me have more positive thoughts about myself which turns into me saying positive things to myself. Which, you guessed it, melts away the self-conscious and low self-esteem thoughts. I want to help YOU boost YOUR confidence in yourself!  Shall we do it together? 

I mentioned that self-esteem and self-conscious thoughts are human nature and something we all deal with.  And yep, I do too. Daily in fact. I have to think of myself as an athlete working daily to get better at the skill I want to be better at … being the best version of myself and loving myself exactly the way I am!

 

 I’ll never forget the first time someone made mention of the hair growth above my  upper lip. I was in early elementary school. I even remember who said it, a boy who I grew up with in my neighborhood. It’s crushing for a little girl to hear something like that because the boys and society tell her hair growth anywhere but her head and eyebrows are not normal. (Newsflash boys, almost all the ladies I’ve ever known have had unwanted hair growth. It’s something we girls talk about amongst ourselves. And guess what? It seems like the unwanted hair grows everywhere on us. Am I right?!)

 You would think the self-conscious feelings and negative self-talk would stop there, right? Of course you didn’t think that! If you’re like me, we have become laser-focused on our insecurities. I also have low self-esteem about my nose. I can’t remember the first person who told me my nose was big or looked like a witch’s (yes, it’s been said), but I’m guessing it had to be somewhere in high school. I can’t recall anyone specifically pinpointing my larger nose, but it had to have happened because I became very self-conscious about it. Maybe I tried to shut out the mean hurtful things people said to me because I honestly can’t remember whoever said my nose was big, until recently! (That’s another story later) 

Over the years, I’ve only made mention of my dislike of my nose to my mom. She would try to make me feel better about it. But at the time, I just didn’t have enough self-love to believe what my mom said as true, “You’re beautiful! Your nose isn’t ugly.”

Well, it got so bad in my early 20s I decided I was going to do something about it.  I wanted to see if I could have surgery on my nose to make it look nicer to me. I went to go see an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I had the surgery and felt so good about it! I was so excited to never have to worry about someone mentioning my larger nose to me again. However, did it fix myself-consciousness completely? Nope. I still thought it wasn’t as small as society’s “pretty, small nose.”  Learning to love me, inside and out, didn’t come from surgery or the outside world telling me I am beautiful. It came from the work I did on myself, internally. I went to therapy and learned strategies on how to banish negative self-talk. Why?. . See my first blog post on how I knew it was time for these negative words to stop.  I learned to focus on the good. Now, again, have they completely stopped? . .   No, but it’s something I continue to work on.  

 

Now, I’m not a psychotherapist but if you find yourself thinking some of the same things as I have and dealing with those negative thoughts and feelings, I want to help.  I want to be a source for ladies to come together and learn some ways to diminish that negative self-talk because I’ve been there. I’ve experienced it and I have learned how to overcome society’s detrimental views of what beautiful is. Let me help you learn to love yourself, just as God made you! Follow along with me and my boutique.  At First Love Boutique, I will help bring back your confidence.  Are you ready to hang out with me and other beautiful women who are, like you, working on loving themselves and loving this beautiful life we’ve been given?  Then, let’s go!!!

 

🥰 With love,

Melissa

 

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